February 23, 2013

Etiquette & Espionage

by Gail Carriger
ages: 12+
First sentence: "Sophronia intended to pull the dumbwaiter up from the kitchen to outside the front parlor on the ground floor, where Mrs. Barnaclegose was taking tea."
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I'm going to say this up front: I was drawn in by the cover and by the back, which has a very catchy and kind of awesome blurb on it:
It's one thing to curtsey properly
It's quite another to learn to curtsey & throw a knife at the same time.
Welcome to Finishing School.
But I couldn't finish it. In fact, after about the first paragraph, I was questioning my desire to read it at all.

From what I can gather, Sophronia (Really? REALLY? What a terrible name. Then again, all the names are terrible) is a 14-year-old tomboy in 1850-something.  It's a steampunkish world, with machinery and robots, but there's also paranormal beasties (you know: werewolves, vampires and the like). Because she's such a handful, her mother's neighbor (I think that's who Mrs. Barnaclegoose is; I was never really quite clear on this), takes it upon herself to enroll Sophronia in Mademoiselle Geraldine's Finishing School. Which, as it turns out, has a lot more to do with finishing than Finishing. (Ha.)

I never really got the rest of the plot, because after the attack of the flywayman (double ha) and the revelation that Mademoiselle Geraldine is actually a 17-year-old student named Monique (who has an Agenda), I lost interest. I wanted this to be awesome in the over the top but way cool sort of way,  but instead it ended up just being convoluted.

Orson Scot Card said once (I think it was him) (and I'm obviously paraphrasing here) that a good story needs more than one good idea. But that's the problem with this one: a Finishing school for assassins is a good idea. A fellow student who has an Agenda is a good idea. A steampunk world is a good idea. Werewolves and vampires are good ideas. But all of them  together? Not so much. The book felt -- and granted I only got about 70 pages in -- cluttered.  Crowded. It made me feel claustrophobic.

And the writing? Sure, it's the 1850s, but this is just banal:
"Your mother is occupied in an important private audience. I was going to await her leisure. But for this, I shall disturb her. It is 1851 and I believe we lived in a civilized world! Yet you are as bad a a rampaging werewolf, young miss, and someone must take action." (3)
Dimity sidled up to Sophronia and whispered, "Isn't he simply scrumptious?"
Sophronia pretended obtuseness. "The coachman?"
"No, silly. Him!" Dimity tilted her head toward their new escort.
"He's a little old, don't you feel?" (47)
(Much talk like Yoda, hmmm?)
"Oh yes, lead on, do. To the Squeak deck."
"What-ho." (73)
And that sound you hear? It's the sound of my hopes being dashed.

Pity.

8 comments:

Ms. Yingling said...

I felt exactly the same way on so many counts! Gave up about the time the vampires came in. Wanted to like it. Shame.

Cath said...

I got to about page 50 of her book, Souless. (I think that was the title.) By that time I was wanting to fling it across the room because the modern Americanisms in 1850s London were driving me crazy. When the main character talked about 'hitting someone upside the head' I finally abandoned it with a big sigh of relief. I wanted to like it so much but this author is just not for me.

Corinne said...

I haven't read a review in ages but this was at the top of my reader and I'm glad I stopped by. Your review made me chuckle :) I will be skipping this one!

Melissa Fox said...

Karen: so glad I'm not the only one! Cath: Huh. I'd heard her others were better. I guess not?
Corinne: I'm so glad you stopped by again!

Melissa Mc (Gerbera Daisy Diaries) said...

I was sucked in by the cover too...thanks for saving me the time!

Elaine said...

I have to disagree. I loved this book and I loved her original series, The Parasol Protectorate. Yes, the dialogue is overly structured. It's intentional to add to the humor.

I do think this book would be more enjoyable to someone who has read her other series. Some of the same characters and technology show up in those books.

You might want to give them a try. They really are fun to read.

Tammy said...

I just bought this one-based on the cool cover alone. Hopefully that wasn't a huge mistake LOL. Gonna give it the ol college try in spite of the reviews.

Melissa Fox said...

Elaine: I know she has fans out there, and I really wanted to like this one because of it. I wish it wasn't touted as a stand-alone series. If I needed to read the others first, in order to really enjoy this one, then it should have been marketed that way.

I may give her other books a try sometime, though, since I've heard good things about them.