This was the other Jane Austen (along with Northanger Abbey) that merited a one sentence review: “It’s not a bad book; I just like her other stuff a whole lot better. ” Actually, I’m going to change that, borrowing a line from Becky’s review of Camilla: It’s not Jane Austen’s best work, being both delightfully pleasant (I did smile a few times) and yet sluggishly dull. But it’s not my favorite Austen, and it never will be.

Why do I not like thee? Let me count the ways:

1) Fanny. She’s annoying. She’s a doormat, a pushover. Sure, she’s an upright, moral person, but what good is that if she can’t even do anything without Edmund there. Yeah, there’s the whole status thing and Mrs. Norris is sufficiently vile, but even so, I’d like her to just be slightly more assertive, or at least more something. She reminded me of Anne in Persuasion, but Anne’s so much more sympathetic. Perhaps it’s because she’s older. But Anne knows her own mind, and even though her family (and others) think little of her, she’s not a doormat. Fanny is, and that drove me nuts. That, and she spent the entire book pining for Edmund. (Mr. Crawford wasn’t that bad until the end. Okay, so their sensibilities were not similar, but he really was trying and she just sat there pining for Edmund. What if he had never come round?) She’s not a sympathetic heroine at all. Which brings me to point 2.

2) The love story was terrible. This book was a long diatribe on what Austen believed to make up a good character. She abhorred excess in all its forms — either too rich or too drunk or too poor or too flirty — and Fanny was supposed to be the model of quiet, sensible decorum. (She didn’t like the spoiling of the Bertram sisters, but she also didn’t like the excess of ill manners at her parents house.) The love story was an afterthought, only coming on in the last 50 pages. Even Northanger Abbey had a better love story. When you read Austen, you want to read good character development and societal parody but you also want a good love story. At least I do. And I was highly unsatisfied with this one. (It’s not the “kissing cousins” thing. I can deal with that. It’s the “Edmund’s in love with Miss Crawford for the entire book and it’s just because she wasn’t horrified enough — or at all, really — at the actions of Henry and Maria and so Edmund realized that he could not marry someone who couldn’t be horrified at running away with someone else’s wife and that means Fanny has to be perfect” thing. Bleh.)

3) All the other characters. Enough said. Mrs. Norris was vile, evil, and I wanted to smack her. No wonder Maria went wrong. Sir Thomas and Lady Betram were lazy and Mrs. Norris was just a snob. She’s worse than Lady Catherine deBerg, too, because Mrs. Norris really has no reason to be a snob. She’s someone Lady Catherine would look down on. That makes it worse. Lady Bertram was as much a pushover as Fanny (maybe that’s why they got along?). Sir Thomas was a flip-flopper, sometimes being nice to Fanny, sometimes being a real jerk. Edmund was a twit. Sorry. See above. Tom was a drunk (at least he reformed). The Bertram sisters were shallow flirts and Maria got what she deserved. No pity. Mary Crawford was also a shallow, money grubbing flirt who could have been okay, but Austen decided that no, the only “decent” person in the book is going to be the pushover Fanny. And then there’s Henry. I actually liked him until he ran off with Maria. He wasn’t too bad; a bit of a flirt, but he was actually fun and interesting (and he read and acted well).

Mansfield Park isn’t an Austen book I’m going to come back to any time soon. I’d say that’s too bad, but I’m perfectly happy with the Austen books I do like.